poetry 101
Poetry Class today. Paul, the poetry class teacher, is a really cool guy, but sometimes no-one understands his jokes, so I try to laugh twice as hard most times. Except I don't really laugh out loud, I kind of just jiggle. Allright, I jiggle twice as hard then. As much as I can before someone calls 112 thinking that my mouth will start frothing any minute and that I'll be continuing my jerky little dance on the floor.
It's sad, but it's just not safe to jerk anymore these days.
Something else that's sad is that the only time of the month when women crave crave crave sex corresponds with the time of the month when they are bloated and probably just a little bit more stinky than usual. I'm seriously starting to doubt that God actually wanted us to procreate. Or more importantly, Me.
These are the things I want right now.
1. That Dan buys groceries, because he should. He's bought two sixpacks of toilet paper since he moved in, and only the soft kind, that makes the whole pack disappear after one good chili dinner. When we have our paper shortages, he always comes with the same bit of advice- "Do like I do, just shake it around a little after peeing."
Yes, well, it's not recommended. But the point is that I don't care how little his ass is, he has to have taken a dump more than two times in the 180 days.
2. The new Jane's Addiction album, the new Devin Townsend album.
3. For people to understand that not being able to write poetry doesn't necessarily mean that I hate all poetry, Harry Martinsson's Aniara is breathtaking. And while on the topic of great poetists, perhaps you've never heard my delightful, yet tasteful limerick about "The Woman from Bunt"?
4.That people stop seeing me as a sex symbol and start appreciating me for my other gifts. Like milking and yodelling.
5. And last but not least, I couldn't honestly say that I would mind a monkey to call my own.
It's sad, but it's just not safe to jerk anymore these days.
Something else that's sad is that the only time of the month when women crave crave crave sex corresponds with the time of the month when they are bloated and probably just a little bit more stinky than usual. I'm seriously starting to doubt that God actually wanted us to procreate. Or more importantly, Me.
These are the things I want right now.
1. That Dan buys groceries, because he should. He's bought two sixpacks of toilet paper since he moved in, and only the soft kind, that makes the whole pack disappear after one good chili dinner. When we have our paper shortages, he always comes with the same bit of advice- "Do like I do, just shake it around a little after peeing."
Yes, well, it's not recommended. But the point is that I don't care how little his ass is, he has to have taken a dump more than two times in the 180 days.
2. The new Jane's Addiction album, the new Devin Townsend album.
3. For people to understand that not being able to write poetry doesn't necessarily mean that I hate all poetry, Harry Martinsson's Aniara is breathtaking. And while on the topic of great poetists, perhaps you've never heard my delightful, yet tasteful limerick about "The Woman from Bunt"?
4.That people stop seeing me as a sex symbol and start appreciating me for my other gifts. Like milking and yodelling.
5. And last but not least, I couldn't honestly say that I would mind a monkey to call my own.
