I, Carrot Maximus.

Oh I'm a carrot yes carrot I am
I go well with peas and ham
I go well with peas and ham
Sometimes I hang with spam

Oh I'm a carrot green on top
Quite frankly I'm a brilliant crop
Quite dandy for a brilliant crop
Sometimes I hang with spam.

Eat me raw or cook me well
Either way, I'm just swell
Orange you glad? Yes I could tell
Sometimes I hang with spam.

If you were to pull me out
To see what I was all about
"To be eaten!" I'd boldly shout
Sometimes I hang with spam.

The jolly green giant is my friend
My love for corn will never end!
But don't pour ketchup on me I don't like that really. It's not that I have anything against ketchup per se, it's just that it's a sign of low class to pour ketchup on everything unless you're like under five or "American". And don't get me started on the French and their Poupon, which, if you ask me, sounds more like a verb for releiving yourself in mildly disturbing - and if I may say so -unrefined fashion. So much for all their culture, and their blessed "Louvre" Fucking poupers. You may quote me on that.
Hey!
Sometimes I hang with spam.