Oh Dear Sweet jesus.

Today is the day that the last assigment for Creative Writing is due.
I beleive that the correct title of the production would be "But I digress."

What we have learnt so far-
Conversation can successfully be incorporated into your writing, because the world does not revolve around you. You can however create the illusion of the world revolving around you by stealing all of Andreas best punchlines and making them your own.

Andreas makes a great CCCP - Crisis center...cupport person. During the writing of this last assignment, every two lines was followed by the dialling of his number and a mantra of "I'm DOOMED! DOOMED!". Dan serves the same function, but does not get the same credit since he lives with me and has no choice.

A second glass of wine never cancels out the effect of the first glass of wine.

I have lost all control of tense. Trying to throw in setting, conversation AND metaphors has a tendecy to canacel out all other brain activity, leading to a repetitive "But I digress" to throw you back into the 'right' tense and give the reader some form of time/space continuum. Remove these three little words and increase the risk of the world exploding into an F.

I'm Doomed. DOOMED!

If you are inept at forming metaphors and similies - try throwing in a 'like' between two a noun and a verb/adverb. "Water like, ran." "down the standpipe like quickly." Embellish! "down the standpipe like very quickly indeed! Oh Like water how it did ran!" or my personal favorite - "Can't catch me, I'm like the gingerbread man for I run LIKE THE WIND!" ( and so on, and so forth.)
There is no end to the possibilities.

I should move this to the CW journal section but since some entries have yet to pasted I'll put this on hold.