Ho Ho Ho Happy New Year and Raspberry Berets

Seems that the soundtrack for the year will be- gasp if you will- Prince's Raspberry Beret.
Let me just assure you that hey, me and Slayer & Deicide & Ministry, we're like homeboys and everything, but if you want to dance yourself silly, Prince's Raspberry Beret offers amazing oppertunities.

I can hear your laughter from here, and chances are that I know where your IP lives.
Reconsider.

And so it is time for new year's resolutions!

Snusa less.

The first time I snusade was behind the school at the tender age of 17. I used to hang out with the cool girl then, and the cool girl snusade, which made snus all the more irrisistable. My head started swimming after a minute or so. After two, I became immensely nauseuos and though it a better idea to lie down. Why I chose to get up from my laying position outside in the grass and assume the exact same posture on a table inside the school with millions of students milling around remains a mystery to me. Why I continued for six years after that incident, well, that's just- let's just call it god's own little miracle.

Be more decisive.

Capitalism has nothing to offer me. Give me communism and my daily allotted potato anyday. I'd be happier then. THE POINT IS- and I have a point here- is that everything, from cutting your hair, clipping your toe-nails, to deciding whether to donate that kidney or flee the country in hopes of finding yourself - you Buddhist wanker - can be just as dramatic. hear me out. You can rank things according to risk and circumstances, but in the end, you have to take a stand. Rip off that plaster, or let it slowly rot off, both of which seem just as unpleasant. You either do something, or you don't. Skip the if's and don't even think about going near the "if I had just..." that follow.

Be More Social.

Even if people who do not realise my true potential and amazing economical situation and the possibility of lavish gifts seem to think as highly of me as gum disease. The kind that makes all of your teeth drop out and subsequently kills all remaining tooth fairies with over-exhertion. Did I mention I have cold hard cash?

Climb every mountain

Except everyone except one. I'll find me a medium sized mountain. Preferably not a tall, tall "Yegad, you won't be-leive the crick in my neck"- mountain. I mean, tall mountains and fear of heights have never just synched. I don't want to set out to meet my maker to have to walk home again with a look of defeat on my face and a crick in my neck from gawking too long. Course- we don't have to be speaking real mountains here. Not real real mountains. A mountain can be metaphorical. Explore the possibilities! While it's geneally not recommended to make a mountain out of a molehill, this no unwritten law against this.

I'll find me a medium sized mole-hill.

[Right. Be More decisive.]

Tell more people you love them

And almost finally, and foremostly, my New Year's resolution for You.
There is not enough love in this world. There is not enough love in this world. Me, I tell myself I love me every day. Slightly redundant, yes, but I can never be pampered enough, if you ask me. And I'm glad you did. I can never be pampered enough, if you ask me. But be a little wild and crazy for a moment, and try to look beyond Me: Walk up to the cashier at Pressbyrån or your convenience store of choice, and tell them what a beautiful smile they have. I'm not asking you to run a ten km marathon, I'm asking you to walk that extra mile. Roll a Yard. Spin around on that cubic centimeter of yours why don't you. Just spread the love. Show appreciation for the people you appreciate. Cause next thing you know, you'll find yourself walking down the street and suddenly surrounded by gremlins, which is never a good thing. Here's your life flashing before your eyes, and here's you feeling pretty stupid right now. Because here's you realising that you'll never have the chance to tell everyone how much you loved them. Here's You, surrounded by gremlins, AND ORCS (!) and you never even had the chance to put people in your will, which is also a form of love, and in which case I'd be happy to disclose my real name. For legal purposes and such.

Dance more. I don't care how stupid it looks. You've got a freind over for dinner, and your favorite song pops up, take them by the hand and dance that crazy polka dance that only you can dance. Laugh, love. Tell everyone in your life how much you love them. Don't let restraining orders stop you.

And lastest but not least

Have a good one.
I think you deserve it.