Oh, so wait, you DON'T want cancer.

"There's nothing carsenogenic in the handle of that tool, right?"

"Nah. Well, if it turns out that there is, you can exchange it for a new one within thirty days."

HAHAHA. The joke of the day. Well, apart from the ones on two legs that come by. Or was it the joke of the day? In a perfect world, I would have just given him a cool cocky stare after dropping that line, making him unsure of the sentiments behind an otherwise intriguing comment.

In real life, I was THIS close to peeing myself while chuckling at my sheer brilliance.