Just when I thought I couldn't get more awesome.

I admit, I'm a backseat driver. Not the positively annoying kind that sits behind you and tells you you're going too fast or too slow, or the kind that tells you that maybe you should have taken a left turn LIKE I TOLD YOU WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, but the kind who will sit quietly next to you, while you're playing whatever video game, and then, at the height of action - ask you if you were meant to die in that particularly gruesome way.

Just that one line. It never gets old, I laugh just as hard every time. I'm a comedy goldmine. No, correction - I'm a comedy goldmind.

Okay, sometimes I throw in a couple of other lines as well. That you're going too fast, or too slow, or that maybe you should have taken a left turn at the Citadel of Eternal Light like I told you. Followed up by "What's wrong with you", of course.

This has basically been the extent of my video-game playing career, except when it comes to fighting games - because there you basically just stand face to face with someone, punch, kick, win. When it comes to one-player games, things get more complicated. Mainly because you have to walk from one point to another. I can't do this. I moonwalk, I walk into walls, into pits I fall to my untimely and ultimately tragic death before the quest begins.

And yet, here I am - I've completed an actual quest in Fable II. I've become the kind of person who can use the word "quest", with an almost straight face, except for the fact that I'm so proud of myself that I can't not break out into giggles. My eyes are welling up with pride as I write this. Quest. Not the same as bungee-jumping or winning a hot-dog eating competition, nothing as glamorous as that. It's MORE glamorous than that. In the process my hands get cold from nervousness, I feel joy, sorrow, fear, mad stabbing-and-sword-wielding rage, the smug satisfaction of having conquered an army of beetles.

I AM THE KING OF THE GODDAMN BEETLES.



All this is, of course done in secret. Because Andreas is a horrible back-seat driver. I don't really know what all the buttons are called and I get stressed by having "press the incredibly obscure button" shouted at me. It makes me feel old, it makes me feel dumb. I don't do those two very well, they are very unbecoming.

So I'll just wait till I hear Andreas' key lock the door in the morning, stop pretending to be asleep, jump out of bed and become king of my own private kingdom of monster-beetles again. Best in my quest'in.

Just the way it should be.