And how big are you, little friend?
When I worked at the hardware store I found something very, very satisfying about having to take out my carpenters' rule to help a customer. The action always warranted a barely audible sigh - denoting "What, don't You walk around with a carpenters' rule? For shame."
A carpenters' rule is staple when you work in a hardware store, and is seemed to me natural that one would also bring a ruler with one when visiting such a store. Power-tools, vertical panel saws, lawn mowers - I knew nothing about these. But one thing I did know was that you can't use these without a carpenter's rule. You will always need to know how big a piece of wood to cut to mend that roof or the exact angle at which to saw your tree down so that it crushes your arch-nemesis of a neighbor's prize-winning roses. Before you plug in your machine, you will need a trusty carpenters' rule in order to plan your roof, or your revenge.
So all these things, all the power behind the power-tools came to be represented by the ruler for me. A ruler meant that I knew my shit. Whipping it out meant feeling bigger than the other guy.
Accompanying this was always the slightest of frowns to mark the distance between us, a sign of that I was frustrated with his ignorance. Revealing my ruler, however, showed that I would take the time teach him or thing or two anyway. I am nothing if not patient.
I've left the days of hardware-storing (and the cultivating that subtle bothered look) behind me. But I find myself missing my measuring stick now that I'm shopping around for a perfectly-sized MP3 player online and need to translate the measurements into tangible dimensions. Until I found this, that is: the amazing online ruler,which adjusts to the size of your screen. Thirty centimeters of virtual wood. I get just as tickled pink every time I type in the address, smiling at the screen after the obligatory subtle frown of distraction - that must now inevitably precede the appearance of a ruler - passes.
Tried to find a picture of a distracted carpenter to accompany this post, but all google came up with was the distractingly beautiful Charisma Carpenter. Eh, same same.
God bless you, Charisma, for Angel and Buffy.
A carpenters' rule is staple when you work in a hardware store, and is seemed to me natural that one would also bring a ruler with one when visiting such a store. Power-tools, vertical panel saws, lawn mowers - I knew nothing about these. But one thing I did know was that you can't use these without a carpenter's rule. You will always need to know how big a piece of wood to cut to mend that roof or the exact angle at which to saw your tree down so that it crushes your arch-nemesis of a neighbor's prize-winning roses. Before you plug in your machine, you will need a trusty carpenters' rule in order to plan your roof, or your revenge.
So all these things, all the power behind the power-tools came to be represented by the ruler for me. A ruler meant that I knew my shit. Whipping it out meant feeling bigger than the other guy.
Accompanying this was always the slightest of frowns to mark the distance between us, a sign of that I was frustrated with his ignorance. Revealing my ruler, however, showed that I would take the time teach him or thing or two anyway. I am nothing if not patient.
I've left the days of hardware-storing (and the cultivating that subtle bothered look) behind me. But I find myself missing my measuring stick now that I'm shopping around for a perfectly-sized MP3 player online and need to translate the measurements into tangible dimensions. Until I found this, that is: the amazing online ruler,which adjusts to the size of your screen. Thirty centimeters of virtual wood. I get just as tickled pink every time I type in the address, smiling at the screen after the obligatory subtle frown of distraction - that must now inevitably precede the appearance of a ruler - passes.
Tried to find a picture of a distracted carpenter to accompany this post, but all google came up with was the distractingly beautiful Charisma Carpenter. Eh, same same.
God bless you, Charisma, for Angel and Buffy.
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